They walk amongst us, to the thousands of people who are reading this story I know you have known many of these people. They are your relatives, friends, co-workers, or other acquaintances. You would just identify them as being unpleasant personalities. There are a lot of people you do not like, you have to live with that and give them little concern. Then there are people who are in fact very pleasant, they may even be your friend.  Then they do something horrible to someone or to you. It is a surprise that they could be so twisted. I am trying to give you an idea of how many dangerous people there are in our world and how close they may be to you.

 The people I am addressing are the ones that commit harmful acts against their fellow man. These are the stalkers.  It seems mostly women are stalked by men, but men are also being stalked.  The legal definition of the crime of stalking, may require a “credible threat”. The social definition is simply unwanted contact.  You may think this is no big deal, you as a man could handle any stalking problem. Let me lay out what stalking would be like for you and what it is in fact like to millions of victims.

 There is at first some contact that attracts the stalker’s attention to you. This contact is only that the stalker notices you, by actually meeting you and having a relationship with you or the stalker may have just seen you walking down the street or as is the case of many celebrities just seen you on TV. However they pick you out, you now have a person who takes a very personal interest in you.  As a guess 2% of the population are active criminal stalkers. If one of these people started giving you unsolicited attention you would be statistically rare if you felt comfortable with that. Then comes the realisation that there is little you can do to ward off this attention.

 Those attractive newswomen on TV, they are all stalked by someone.  Stalking may start off as what appears to be an effort to gain your affection, like a wooing process, but this is not always the case. A stalker may be someone who has taken a dislike to you and makes it their life’s mission to harm you any way they can. When the stalker is rejected or thwarted they do not take that rejection well and will become vindictive and often violent.

 You may feel you can still handle this situation. I would say few of you know how to handle these people. Consider that you are dealing with a person who can handle and will accept any consequence you can direct toward them. They are perfectly willing to violate the law to say nothing of social norms, they are willing to kill you and go to prison, I would say few of us are willing to do that in return to them. We have good lives, family, friends, people that love and respect us, we would not want to give all that up by violating the law to “get” someone who irritates us, no matter how irritating they may be. To put it in another way, “We have more we do not want to lose. The stalkers are willing to lose everything.”

 Add another trait of stalkers, they will never be dissuaded from stalking you no matter what happens to them, they will be at you for years. The only possible chance you have of getting rid of them is for them to fixate on someone else.  The recommended tactic for dealing with these people is to make the police reports, obtain the restraining orders, and then never communicate with them directly or indirectly in any way. Do not change you telephone number or email address. Get a new phone number and email that you only give out to trusted contacts. Then, hopefully the stalker will think they are still in contact with you. If you cancel the contact number the stalker will find your new contact number. If they are still getting your answering machine they will be satisfied with continuing to leave you messages on that number and will not tend to look for a new number. You should not personally listen to or read any correspondence from the stalker, you don’t need the aggravation or worse you may be goaded into responding.

 A must read book that I have recommended before and will continue to tout as the definitive guide on such matters is “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin DeBecker    

 Check out this video, these may be the exceptions but not by that much, EXTREME STALKERS    Also check out the recommended web sites below this video.